Monthly jokes by Star Sign...

    After sex comments .. Your matching pet ...
Capricorn Do you have a business card? Do I have to pay for it?
Aquarius Now let's try it with our clothes off! A hamster. First, I've got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they don't make anything like that? That's okay, I'm sure what I come up with will be much better.
Pisces What did you say your name was again? Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, they're easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them...
Aries Okay, let's do it again! Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!
Taurus I'm hungry--pass the pizza. A turtle: it's slow-moving, doesn't need a lot of attention, and no matter what, always goes forward.
Gemini

Have you seen the remote?

A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--
Cancer When are we getting married? Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.
Leo Wasn't I fantastic? A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesn't compete with its owner's place in the sun.
Virgo I need to wash the sheets. Let's see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost R12.86, including tax--
Libra I liked it if you liked it. Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and won't require as much time and attention. Oh, I don't know. What would you do? Are you sure?
Scorpio Perhaps I should untie you. A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable. What's not to like?
Sagitarius Don't call me--I'll call you. A horse, of course! Let¹s hope it's got enough stamina to keep up with me.
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